I'd like to ask you about a man who recently lost his wife. He is a big business guy and he and I had a talk. He is wrestling with painful emotions. He thinks that he should be further along, because everybody in his business world is saying, “Get over it.” I said to him, “It has been less than sixty days since your loss. Getting over it does not mean stuffing it down and dealing with it later. Grieve, cry, scream, kick the television (always a good option) and be OK, knowing that you are not going crazy if you feel the need to pull the car over and cry for a few minutes.

Denis in Holland

Dear Denis,

You gave your friend some good advice. Folks who want him to "get over it" are quite likely projecting their own discomfort about loss, as well as their fear about experiencing something similar. They are really saying, "Please get over this! Don't let us see your pain, because then we might have to deal with our own."

Individuals who allow themselves to feel and process (sort out) their emotions as they go along will benefit from the deepening effect of pain. When uncomfortable feelings are given equal time, they can breathe—get aired—and transform. From the challenges come soul-evolving “epiphanies” and an increased ability to feel greater joy in life.

When we have processed, grown and expanded from our pain we become more accepting of what others are going through. We feel less need to rescue them or deny them their experience because we are mindful of the gifts that we have personally received from our own challenges. One who rushes in to rescue another may be one who has yet to reach a deeper understanding of his/her own fear and pain.

Grieving and Gathering

Dear Louise,

Recently, a baby died while locked inside his father's car. People are bringing flowers to the parking space where it happened, right outside my window at work. Others have come to stand at the edge of the space in front of the flowers. Is the placing of flowers at this particular place and coming to where the baby died of any use to his soul? Is coming to the site be of any use to his parents who are grieving?

AF in CA

Dear AF,

What a tragic incident. My heart goes out to the child's parents. With the love of family and friends—and their ability to surrender to a higher power—I hope that they will eventually be able to forgive themselves. Would that there were the patriarchal God that many perceive, the one with the long gray beard who sits in judgment. “He” would be far more loving and forgiving than we tend to be with ourselves.

Back to your question: it is interesting to contemplate whether people are drawn to energy vortexes on which to build their churches, cathedrals and synagogues, or whether those locations have become powerful places because people have congregated there over time, coming together with the powerful emotions of hope and faith. It’s a bit of the chicken-or-the-egg idea.

I believe that wherever people gather with deep emotion, open hearts and higher intentions, powerful energy becomes focused and prayers are heard. It is as if their thoughts and prayers get a synergistic boost that most certainly helps propel a soul further along its journey. It has been said that John F. Kennedy barely lost consciousness when he passed, a result of all the prayers that were said for him.

One would hope that the baby’s parents are certain to feel the love from those who gather at the site and will embrace the gesture as a ceremonious one that is honoring the life of their child.

Have a question you'd like to have answered here? Contact Louise at louise@louisehauck.com . She'll be happy to hear from you.

About the Author

Louise Hauck is an international speaker, visionary, “time traveling” intuitive spiritual counselor whose presentations entertain audiences around the world. She is the author of Beyond Boundaries, The Adventures of a Seer, Heart-Links, Connecting With Lost Loved Ones and upcoming Fearless Future.
www.louisehauck.com

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